Valentines for the apathetic: blubber not!

Welp, it’s that time of year again.

I spent a good while deliberating over what I might write today but wouldn’t make me upchuck: an angry rant inveighing against the evils of such a commercialized holiday taking something beautiful and making it frilly and stupid?  Perhaps a total denial of its existence (Valen-who)? Maybe a historical exposé on how this holiday isn’t actually what you think it is (did you know girls used to be ritualistically whipped on this day, Lupercalia, in ancient Rome, to ensure fertility)?


 It’s nice to be in France where it isn’t as much of a thing to go nuts on February 14th, but still, there are a lot of things I could be thinking about as the updates from happy couples and sad, sad, sad loners pop up on facebook. While it would be enjoyable to spend the day with my dear friends Toblerone and obnoxiously gory B-movies (Hobo With a Shotgun, anyone?) in mascara-streaked snotty bliss, I feel I occupy a middle ground this year: single, but somewhat ambivalent and in a thoughtful mood.   Of course I am aware that whatever I say here, although perhaps intended as contrarian and defiantly happy, could be easily misinterpreted as a desperate simulacrum of my solitary Valentine’s Day fate.  

INSTEAD I am writing because I realized that this year, for the first time in a while, I have basically nothing to say about this holiday.   This year there are no reclamations to make, no campaigns to champion, nothing here to really fight against because this holiday is what it is and no amount of my ranting could make that any different anyway.  I have more interesting things to do: I am travelling the world, going where I want to go and doing what I want to do unfettered by the chains of emotional codependency or obligations toward chocolates and public displays of affection.  There are no limits, no boundaries, no expectations with which to contend except my own nor anything else that might make a single girl all swoony and gross.  There is plenty of fodder to melt into blubbery puddling later when there’s actually something to be sad about, but for now?

Let’s be honest for a second.  If you’re coupled or single, what is the point of celebrating love and romance only one day out of the year in the first place?  It’s not like it’s your birthday or New Years– we can love whenever the hell we want and we should be happy for it.  I’d rather have someone be frank with me any day than listen to more “Roses are Red Violets are blue” blather or have to scratch any more heart-shaped glitter out of my hair.  Why not just say what you mean whenever you mean to say it?

Thank you!  That’s so sweet!  

 So chin up and soldier on if you’re sad and single or sad and whatever or just sad.  Tomorrow will be February 15th.



Filed under France

2 responses to “Valentines for the apathetic: blubber not!

  1. Well put.

    Buuut that being said, j’ai juste un petit cadeau pour toi:

  2. This also seemed appropriate, given the title of this post:

    non-committal valentines

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